“People Fitness” is all about making connections with people which lead to better relationships / friendships.

Being “People Fit” is not easy for people who are not naturally good with people.

If you are not “People Fit” then you can feel awkward in social situations, feel lonely and feel like you don’t fit in. At work not being “People Fit” will often hamper your career.

All of this can lead to depression, stress and anxiety.

So what gets in the way of building better connections with people when you meet them?

1.       Being too nosey  – asking too many questions

 There’s a fine balance between being interested and being nosey. If you ask too many questions but don’t show some empathy you can easily leave a person feeling annoyed. They will probably avoid you if you do this too much.

 A good example of this is I bump into a “friend” on a dog walk, who instead  of asking me how I am, focusses on asking me questions about something they have heard about a friend of mine who is getting a divorce. Question after question…..yawn, yawn, yawn!

2.       Not listening – looking around, looking at phones, answering calls

 There’s not many things that are so devaluing as someone you are talking to who isn’t listening to you.

 So many people do this without realising the impact on someone’s self-esteem and self-worth. I see this a lot in the work place where even during meetings people are “multi-tasking” on their phones.

3.       Interrupting People

 Listening to someone means that you actually have to let them speak, so interrupting someone is very rude.

 An example of this is I meet certain people on my dog walks who give me that “How are you?” big welcome. I start speaking and in less than 20 seconds they have interrupted and started to talk about themselves…..

4.       Talking about themselves too much

 There are some people who just spend the whole day telling people about themselves even down to what they are eating every day….like they are the most important person going.

 For some people conversation is only one-way – theirs!

Often these people are “showing off”……”I have been here on holiday” – “I have just bought an expensive whatever”…..

5.       Being negative – “half-empty” glass syndrome

Some people just focus on the negative not only in their life but also in the news and in the world. To be in a conversation with people like this can be draining.

You might say, “Great weather we’re having?” They answer, “Too hot for me!”

6.       Talking about problems in detail

 This is the person you wished you hadn’t asked how they are. They tell you all the details of their life……and all of it is bad!

 They have no filter on what they are telling you and some of it may be inappropriate…like the lady who had recently had her baby and decided to tell me all about eating her placenta!


7.       Not reading the signs the other person doesn’t want to talk

 Sometimes people are not in the mood to talk to you. They may be wanting some time to be alone and in their own heads.

8.       Repeated record – talking about the same story time and time again

 People will often be sympathetic about your problems but if you go on about them time and time again they will want to   avoid you.

9.       Being political / opinionated

 Everyone is entitled to their opinion / political viewpoint but there really is a time and a place. Be wary about talking about sexism, racism, discrimination or any other “ism” with people you don’t know well.

10.   Talking about others – gossiping

Whenever you talk about other people the other person is normally thinking, “I wonder what they are saying about me behind my back”.

So how People Fit are you?

Do you want to be better with people?

Are you guilty of any of the 10 things that get in the way of better communication and better relationships? Which ones?

Maybe you have no idea whether you are guilty of any of the 10 things? Is this you?

Quick Tips to improve your “People Fitness”

1.       Improve the areas you have identified

2.       Improving ALL the areas listed about can only lead to better connections!

If you found this blog useful then you will like this blog – More tips to being “People Fit”