Different Strokes for Different Folks

We all need strokes, whether positive or negative.

The worse thing of all is no strokes

So what do I mean by strokes?

Strokes according to Eric Berne are “units of recognition”.

Every person has the need to be touched and to be recognised by other people.

This name “strokes” came from research which indicated that babies require touching in order to survive and grow. It apparently makes no difference whether the touching induces pain or pleasure – it is still important. On the whole we prefer to receive negative strokes than no strokes at all, at least that way we know we exist and others know we exist.

Strokes play a major part in motivation

and self-esteem for all of us

There are different categories of stroke

VERBAL – Hello how are you? NON VERBAL – A smile / frown

POSITIVE – I like you NEGATIVE – Stupid! ZERO – Ignoring someone

PLASTIC – not genuine – throwing marshmellows ( they melt quick!) CROOKED – Has a sting in the tail “If you did more of that you’d be great”

UNCONDITIONAL – I hate you when…. CONDITIONAL – I love you when……

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