Sometimes my coaching clients come to me because life is not good. They are stressed, anxious and unable to move on. And this seems to be never ending.  Some people do seem to have phases of problems, bad luck and bad experiences. They seem to go from one problem to another. It just goes on and on and on. 

It is no surprise that they end up in a “cycle of despair”. They start making changes but then they don’t stick to them or something else happens. This then makes them feel useless, and more depressed and anxious. The “cycle of despair” goes on and on and on. And it is destructive.

Do you ever feel like this?

Are you giving yourself a hard time?

Are you in a “cycle of despair”?

So how do you break this destructive cycle? Compassion for yourself is often missing if you are feeling bad. It’s easy to blame yourself, talk bad about yourself and beat yourself up, which of course makes you feel even worse.

Just being kind to yourself can have an enormous impact and help move you out of the “cycle of despair”. 

Here are 10 Tips to self-compassion to start doing now!

1.       Acknowledge that things are not good right now. “OK so things are dreadful at the moment”. Just by accepting that things are not good can be very calming.

2.       Tell yourself that these feelings are temporary and will pass. Things do move on.

3.       Sometimes just doing nothing is the best option. Just sitting outside in fresh air can be powerful.

4.       Meditation can help to de- stress. YouTube has some great meditations to help you relax, sleep or re-energise.

5.       Write a list of what positive things are in your life or what people say about you – read it several times a day.

6.       If your mind is full of problems and thinking is getting in the way do a brain dump onto paper. Just doing this can often lead to calmness.

7.       Ask yourself “What can I do about this right now?” –often you can’t do anything as it is out of your control. Just accepting this can help.

8.       Catch yourself being negative about yourself and turn every negative into a positive.

9.       Avoid using negative language about yourself, e.g. should, ought and must. The rebel in us doesn’t like being told what to do.

10.    Indulge and pamper yourself. This can be cheap and cheerful like a relaxing bath or a bar of chocolate.


Here are some blogs you might find useful

How to start loving yourself

How to change your life forever

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